Myer & Christmas Decorations

There is one thing about Myer that I really admire.  It’s their Christmas decorations.  

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To be honest, it reminds me of Macy’s, Bloomingdale’s or Nordstrom in the U.S..  I didn’t buy anything cause my fat American a$$ couldn’t fit into the small sizes.  Why?  Cause we invented the Big Mac.  Real talk.

However, I did stop in the store because I was impressed with their Christmas window shows.  It reminded me of an old 1980’s movie — Mannequin.  There was a crowd of people gathered around the window.  Unfortunately, there wasn’t any mannequin coming to life to ride behind in my motorcycle without a helmet.  Thank goodness.  I wouldn’t want to pay for the ticket for the non-helmet rider.

Myer Melbourne Christmas time
Myer Melbourne Christmas time

Anyway, as I roamed the store, I only went to use the restroom because I was drinking at Issus in Centre Place for a couple of hours and needed to be piss.  I did try on some Calvin Klein underwear and found them to be quite remarkable.  I definitely felt like a CK model and the sales person said told me Marky Mark had competition.   I didn’t believe the her though; however, I bought them anyway cause I felt flattered.  The underwear?  Well, it felt like an angel’s skin being rub on my butt.  In addition, it caresses and lifts the front.  At THAT moment, I finally realized why women buy expensive bras.

Myer is a great department store to visit.  For three reasons, the Christmas window shows, the flattering staff and the Calvin Klein underwear.   I did ask the sales person for her number, but she said she had a boyfriend.  I responded, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance?”  She said, “No…” then yelled “Security!”  I felt so depressed and lead on.  However, my CK underwear made it better.

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