Jean-Georges & 3 Michelin Stars. Douche.

Jean Georges is no amateur when it comes to fine dining like I’m no amatuer when it comes to eating or being a complete a-hole.  Here are its awards as if it matters:

• 3 Michelin Stars in 2015.  10 years in a row. 
• #98 on The San Pellegrino’s 2014 World’s 50 Best Restaurants. 
• #19 on The San Pellegrino’s 2009 World’s 50 Best Restaurants.
• #17 on The San Pellegrino’s 2008 World’s 50 Best Restaurants.
• #18 on The San Pellegrino’s 2007 World’s 50 Best Restaurants. 
• #16 on The San Pellegrino’s 2006 World’s 50 Best Restaurants. 
• #9 on The San Pellegrino’s 2005 World’s 50 Best Restaurants. 
• #18 on The San Pellegrino’s 2004 World’s 50 Best Restaurants.

The restaurant is located in the Trump hotel and right across from Central Park.  I know.  How could I walk into Trump Tower without spitting on the floor?  Well, easy.  I took a piss in the corner.

Anyway, they seated us next to the window and I had the sun shining on me, but it wasn’t uncomfortable like watching your married friends argue in public.  It’s a really pretty, bright, and vibrant restaurant on Saturday during the Spring.  It’s like taking an eighth of shrooms then walking through a carnival.

The service was superb and the wait staff was amazing.  The servers came by to check up on me and always had a Colgate smile on their faces.  My water and drinks were never empty.  In addition, they did a fantastic job of explaining the preparation and ingredients of the dish.  It wasn’t a long and winded explanation like a college lecture where I’ve fallen asleep.

Now, the tasting menu.  Jean Georges had a prix fix menu with two courses and a tasting menu with 5-6 courses.  I decided to go with the tasting menu because I’m fat and can consume 60 chicken nuggets in one sitting.

1. Caviar – Caviar on top of Parisienne Potatoes.  Who would have thought to combine those two items?  It’s like combining cocaine and champagne, which is quite fitting if you’re in New York.  The caviar was amazing and wasn’t overwhelmingly salty.  The texture of potatoes was soft and firm at the same time.  It looked like a dessert when it was served in a champagne glass.  I would have preferred it in a red cup like the ones people use for beer pong cause I’m classic man.  Yeah baby I’m a classic man.

   

2. Suckling Pig –  The pig was served with beets and it had more color than the rainbow while you were on acid.  The Suckling Pig had a crispy outer shell and tender inside.   The only issue was the presentation.  I’m color blind so I didn’t get to see all the colors on the plate.  There was red, purple, and yellow.  I think.  I wished they would have served this in a black chalkboard, so I could distinguish the colors.

   

3. Cod – The cod was slow cooked and served with a Spring Lettuce Puree and Herbal-Lime Vinaigrette.   It was topped with a cracker that resembled a Vietnamese Sesame Baked Rice Cracker.  It broke apart into large flakes as you ate it.   I thought the presentation could have been better and it should have been served in a paper plate.

   

Overall, Jean Georges was awesome experience. The service, food and ambiance was great.  I definitely recommend Jean Georges for those who are more price conscious with it comes to tasting menus.  If you don’t want the tasting menu, there’s a two course prix fix menu for skinny people.  Sorry.  I’m not going to stop my skinny shaming of people.  However, I don’t recommend the two course cause you will be wasting your time and experience like voting for Jill Stein or Gary Johnson.

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