The Aviary & Some of the Best Mixologists

There was so much hype leading up to my Aviary visit. It’s listed as the 13th best bar in the world on the World’s 50 Best Bars list. It’s part of Chef Grant Achatz empire.

The Aviary Chicago
What? No DJ?

I wanted to wild out and pop bottles like no other.  I was sporting my white sunglasses to match my white outfit.  In addition, I was wearing my colorful headband and rainbow necklace.  I was ready to rock out with my cock out, per se.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t that type of party.

The Aviary is your fine dining for drinks. In other words, it’s a drink tasting menu served by a bunch of classy mixologists who treat you with respect.  I wanted half naked waitresses in bikini like how they have them at the day clubs in Vegas.  Unfortunately, the mixologists were both men and women.  Plus, they were fully clothed.

The Aviary Chicago
Something I wish I could remember

The Aviary had background music playing in a very chill atmosphere.  I wanted a large crowd grooving to some of the best DJs in the world like Calvin Harris and Paris Hilton.  I wanted it to be a night for me to remember where I take massive amounts of drugs and fist pump like I was masturbating in my bedroom at my parents house in my teenage years.   I wanted to rub up against half naked women who would regret going home with me.  Unfortunately, the Aviary didn’t allow any of that.

The Aviary drink tasting menu was a fraction of what it would have cost me to pop bottles at the club.  The bottle service would be shared with 15 of my closest buddies and it would have consisted of us pulling random drunk chicks off the dance floor to only find out we’re out of alcohol then having the chicks walk off while calling us a bunch of pathetic losers. Unfortunately, the Aviary had chicks who were still composed and had class.

The Aviary Chicago
It’s not your typical Vegas fruit bowl. WHY?

The Aviary provided snacks; however, I wanted the cheap Albertson’s bowl of fruit that I’m accustomed to while I’m drunk at the Vegas clubs.  The same fruit bowl that’s infested with flies and random sweat from people dancing around the tables.  The Vegas seats that’s accumulated sweat and throw up throughout the years from different groups rubbing their sweaty butt cracks on them.  Unfortunately, the Aviary didn’t have any seats filled with sweat.

Lastly, I wouldn’t recommend the Aviary if you want to fist pump while Paris Hilton is spinning the best top 40 jams.  The Aviary is a classy place where you would take your girlfriend to and not where you go to pick up chicks for the night.  Unfortunately, the only chick I took home was Palmela Handerson.

The Aviary Chicago
I’m not sure what this was but it wasn’t no shots lined up. BOOO!

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  • 8.5/10
    Service - 8.5/10
  • 8.5/10
    Presentation - 8.5/10
  • 8/10
    Flavors - 8/10
  • 8/10
    Decor - 8/10
  • 8.5/10
    Ambiance - 8.5/10
8.3/10

Summary

The Aviary is too classy for me. I’m a type of guy who loves to fist pump and pick up on random drunk chicks.

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