Secret Pizza & Las Vegas’ Cosmopolitan

Secret Pizza isn’t so much a secret anymore like how everyone knows Victoria’s Secret .  Could someone please tell me what is Victoria’s Secret?  Anyways, Secret Pizza is located in the Cosmopolitan.

The prices of the pies
The prices of the pies

The only one way you could get to Secret Pizza.  The narrow pathway is loaded with all kinds of danger and hazards like the road to Mordor.   It’s very intimidating if you don’t have a guide or know where you’re going.  I know it sounds pretty scaring but you have to suck it up if you want some decent pizza in Las Vegas.  The path is dark, musky, hot, god awful sounds, pungent smells and there are strange creatures lurking around it.  Don’t worry.  The Cosmo is pretty much like every other Las Vegas hotel.

When you find the doorway, you have to knock on a door where doorman asks you for the password.  It’s “1-800-SB-IDFWY”.  However, it changes all the time.  I remember when they first open it was “Knick Knack Patty Wack.  You smell like a$$ crack”.  Serious.  Once inside, the pizzas are on display like every other pizza parlor.  There’s drunk people slurring, making a fool of themselves and screaming “Best Vegas trip EVER!”

Now, onto the pizza pie.  We went with half and half like a combo at Panda Express.  It was half Italian sausage and half pepperoni.  It was greasy like John Travolta’s hair in Grease and Pony Boy in the Outsiders combined.  The pizza is a fold-able pie and has a New York-esque to it.  The cheese is ooey-gooey and the sauce is full of zest like a born again Christian.   The pepperoni was okay and typical stuff you get in a grocery store.  I wasn’t really impressed with it.  The Italian sausage had a little spice to it and it was barely detectable like the guy who’s stalking your social media accounts, knows your every move and hoping you will reply to his comments one day.

Lastly, Secret Pizza is definitely one of the better pizza joints on the West Coast but it still lacks the extra something about it.  It still far far FAR behind one of my favorite pizzas of all time and that’s Jeno’s Pizza Crisp N Tasty.   There’s nothing like popping in a frozen pizza in the mini-oven and hearing the romantic sound of it being done.

Secret Pizza
Secret Pizza

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  • 7/10
    Service - 7/10
  • 6/10
    Presentation - 6/10
  • 7.5/10
    Flavors - 7.5/10
  • 6.5/10
    Decor - 6.5/10
  • 6.5/10
    Ambiance - 6.5/10
6.7/10

Summary

The Secret Pizza that’s not much of a secret anymore like Taylor Swift’s conversation with Kanye West. Secret Pizza provides a good stop for late night food while in Vegas and lets you customized your pie while soaking in the scene of drunk folks. They don’t charge extra for the kids who scream “Best Vegas trip EVER!”

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